


The Elements

by phanburnhamizzard



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: Gen, M/M, dan and phil funny, dan and phil humor, phan funny, phan humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15662028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanburnhamizzard/pseuds/phanburnhamizzard
Summary: It's a freezing cold day, but Dan and Phil are snuggled together under a blanket before a roaring fire.  What could possibly go wrong?This fic was written for the Phanfichallenge "Elements"





	The Elements

The fireplace crackled and hissed as Daniel Howell, a twenty-seven year old man with brown hair and sugar-brown eyes prodded the logs with the poker.

“Careful,” warned Phil Lester, his thirty one year old best friend, “you’ll burn down the apartment with the sparks!”

“It will be fine,” Dan placated. 

The temperature outside had plunged to freezing, and the two young men were snuggled on the sofa watching anime, wrapped in a large thermal blanket. 

The steam from the hot cocoa on the coffee table rose up towards the ceiling and filled the room with its sweet aroma. 

Dan crawled back under the blanket and snuggled with Phil. 

“Mmm,” Dan said, “this is nice.”

“Yes it is, Bear,” Phil agreed. 

“it’s just the perfect-“ Dan began, before he heard a loud cracking sound. 

“What was that?” Phil asked, startled up into a sitting position.

“I don’t know,” Dan replied, concerned, “maybe it’s just ice on the roof or something.”

A splitting crack and then the unmistakable sound of gushing water splashing onto tiled floor told them all they needed to know.

“The pipes have burst!” They said in unison.  
Both leaped up and ran towards the bathroom where the floor was already covered in half an inch of water. 

“How is this possible?” Phil asked, “It’s freezing outside!”

“But it isn’t in here!” Dan said, yelling to be heard over the waterfall.

“Where is the water main valve?” Phil asked.

“I don’t know!” Dan said. “We’ll have to call the landlord!”

Phil whipped out his phone and dialed the landlord who picked up on the first ring.

“-ello,” he said casually, “Marcus speaking.”

“Mr. Matthews! This is Phil Lester from 1A. We’ve had a pipe burst in the bathroom and we don’t know where the main is to turn off the water.”

“Ah cripes!” Mr. Matthews exclaimed, “turn the valve under the sink, lad!”

Phil got down on his knees in the freezing water and found the valve and turned it to the left until the water slowed to a trickle and then finally stopped at a slow drip.

“Okay!” Phil said, breathing heavily and shivering, “I’ve got it. The water is off. What do we do now?”

“Get some towels and blankets and a mop and sop up the water. Keep it from spreading all over the apartment. You’ll need to rent a shop vac to hoover it up if you don’t have one.”

“Rent a shop vac?” Phil asked, “Where would we do that?”

“At a DIY store,” Dan answered, as he returned to the room with all of their clean towels.

“A DIY store, lad,” the landlord replied, “and be quick about it! I don’t want it seeping under the tile and causing mold!”

Phil thanked him and hung up. Dan was on his hands and knees sopping up water with the towels then wringing them out into the bathtub. 

“I’ll keep working,” Dan said, “You get the shop vac.” 

“No, you go get it,” Phil said, grabbing the towel from Dan, “I don’t know what to ask for.”

“Okay,” Dan said, standing up and realizing his jeans were soaked from the knees down. “I need to change first, then I’ll head straight out.”

“Alright,” Phil said. 

 

Dan arrived at the DIY and rented the shop vac, then ran back to the waiting Lyft and forced the bulky machine to fit in the back seat. 

 

Back at home, Phil was ankle deep in water and using the mop to try to corral it into the towels. His teeth were chattering and his lips had turned a striking shade of pale blue. He didn’t notice, though, as he felt warm and was dripping with sweat from the unusual exertion. 

Dan noticed immediately, though, when he returned home.   
“Phil! You’ll get hypothermia! Go change your socks and your pants, mate! I’ll get this shop vac going.”

“I —I’m fine,” he stammered, realizing at once that his core temperature was probably down a degree or two. “I’ll go change and be right back.”

Phil headed upstairs and took off his soaking wet socks and then his pants and was just about to sit on the bed to reach for another pair when the lights flickered and a strange smell filled the apartment.

“Dan?” Phil yelled down the stairs. “What was that?”

Dan yelled back, “I don’t know!”

Phil ran down the stairs in his underwear to find Dan ankle deep in water with the shop vac up to it’s wheels in the pool of freezing liquid as well.

“Dan!” Phil shouted, “Electricity and water don’t mix!”

Dan reached for the power switch just as the lights dimmed.

“Stop!” Phil exclaimed. “Don’t touch anything! I’ll turn it off at the fuse box. Don’t move!”

Phil darted to the fuse box and tried to figure out which circuit was the one that fed the bathroom. After a few seconds, he decided to just shut them all off to be safe. 

The apartment went black. 

Phil stumbled his way back to the bathroom and said “Dan?” Into the blackness.

“I’m right here,” Dan said. “I thought these things were water proof!”

“I guess this one isn’t!” Phil exclaimed. “You could have been electrocuted!”

“Nah, mate, the fuse would have tripped before that happened.”

“You’re welcome” Phil said sarcastically.

“Thank you, Phil,” Dan said, laughing. 

“For saving your life!” Phil encouraged.

“For saving my life,” Dan parroted. 

“You’re welcome. Now what do we do?”

“We light a candle and get back to using the towels, I guess,” Dan suggested. 

Dan found his way to the living room and by the light of the fire, was able to find a big candle and light it. When he made his way back into the bathroom, he found Phil standing in his underwear and jumper. 

“Phil!” Dan exclaimed with a big laugh, “where are your pants?!’

“Oh!” Phil said, looking down, “I was changing when the lights started to go out.”

Dan cackled. “My hero in tighty whities!”

“Oh, shut up,” Phil said, laughing along.

“Let me put this candle down and I’ll help you. After we get the floor mostly dry, we can turn the power back on, I reckon.”

“Okay,” Phil said, dropping down to his knees and grabbing a sopping towel. 

Dan leaned over to grab the mop and the candle, precariously balanced on the ledge, fell to the ground.

“Oh my God!” Phil exclaimed, as dry towels by the door started to smoke. “Put it out!”

Dan started to stamp on the towels with his foot but caught his sock on a spark and felt a burst of hot pain on his big toe.

“Ah!” He screamed as his sock started to smoke. 

Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and pulled him further into the bathroom so that his burning sock splashed into the icy water. 

“Ow!” Dan yelled as the freezing water met his burned flesh, but at least the fire was out. Fire, he thought, wasn’t there another…

“Dan, the towels!” Phil screamed.

The towels had smoldered and smoked and were beginning to shoot up flames. 

“Sweet Jesus!” Dan exclaimed. He froze momentarily, having no idea how to meet fire with water without burning himself.

Suddenly, Phil tossed a bunch of sopping wet towels past Dan’s face and they landed on the flaming towels, immediately dosing the fire and filling the bathroom with acrid smoke.

“What were those towels made of?” Dan said, holding his nose, “Skunks and tires?”

A high pitched squeal filled the dark apartment.

“The smoke detector!” Phil shouted, and darted towards the direction of the kitchen.

Dan followed and together, they jumped and hopped until they were able to hit the reset button with their hands and the annoyingly loud squeal abruptly stopped. 

 

They stood there in the kitchen, dripping wet, freezing cold, Phil in his underwear and no socks, Dan with a second degree burn blister rising up on his big toe, and caught their breath. 

 

“Okay,” Dan said after a minute had passed. He flipped on the torch he had found in the kitchen drawer. “Let’s go back and unplug the …”

A loud crash filled the silent apartment. 

They ran towards the bathroom to find the shop vac tipped over, having crashed into and shattered the block windows, letting in the frigid wind from outside. 

“Don’t move!” Dan said as he shivered. “There’s glass everywhere!” 

“At least now, we can see!” Phil said.

Glass shards were floating in the icy water, the howling wind filled the bathroom, and smoke hung on the ceiling. 

“What the bloody hell is going on!” Dan shouted. And then he began to laugh.

Phil doubled over and started cackling. 

“it’s the elements! They are against us, Phil!” Dan said, dramatically. “All we have left is each other!” 

“Oh, then I’m Katniss,” Phil proclaimed.

“No, I want to be Katniss,” Dan whined. 

“You can be Prim,” Phil decided.

“Okay, fine. I’m Primrose,” Dan agreed. 

“You know what I think?” Phil said through chattering teeth.

“What?” Dan replied, standing on one foot and holding his burned toe in his hand.

“I think we’re leaving,” Phil decided. 

 

Two hours later, they stood together in a warm shower at the Langley Hotel, letting the steam comfort them.

“Ow! Oh that steam hurts my toe!” Dan exclaimed.

“I told you to leave the bandage on!” Phil said.

“I’ll just poke it out the curtain. Ah, that’s better,” Dan said. 

 

The landlord had not been happy, but had agreed that the two men were not equipped to handle the problems themselves. He had recommended they find somewhere else to stay for a few days while he arranged for handymen to come in and patch up their apartment. 

 

After they left the shower, they put on the fluffy bathrobes provided by the hotel. Lying snuggled together under the blankets, watching anime, Dan said, “Mmm, this is nice.”

“Yes it is, Bear,” Phil agreed as he snuggled into Dan's side, “Yes, it is.”


End file.
